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Listening to: From the Choirgirl Hotel. Not for long, though... it's not really matching my mood quite like I was expecting it too.

Currently Reading: Just barely started Jonathan Lethem's Gun, With Occasional Music. Kind of saving it for the train, as well as a stack of others (both fiction and non). Also, I recently read Laurie Notaro's I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl (again) in like two days, and peed myself laughing. Highly recommended. I also devoured The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel in, like, a mere few days. Laughed until I peed. Also highly recommended.

Wishing: income. Lots of it. Other than that, life's pretty good.

I couldn't be more The current mood of ronkc@diaryland.com at www.imood.com right now.

Buy "Civilised Conversation..." Merchandise! Please? All the cool kids are doing it....

Please help me pay for college by purchasing items from Amazon.com through this link!!

Do you love me?

2001-08-21 | 12:48 p.m.

a sleep so deep....

Okay.

I got up a little while ago. I had a not-great day yesterday.

I had the duty night from hell last night. I had about 7 check-ins and 2 lock-outs. I was up until 1:00 or 1:30 this morning.

I had a meeting with the Director of RLO yesterday, but I can't really talk about what went on. So far, I don't have my room, but if "something opens up," the director of RLO will see what he can do.

Needless to say, I'm beyond outraged, beyond disappointed, beyond frustrated.

I talked to my mom about it, and she's doing that thing where she's trying to be supportive and encouraging, but really doesn't seem to be. I get really confused. One of the many things that she's taught me is this: there is ALWAYS a way. NOTHING is impossible, really. It's a combination of WHAT you know, and WHO you know. If your wants aren't unrealistic, they can be achieved. Then she seems to pull out. And I'm left here, all alone in the dark.

While I admit that much worse things could be happening, some people don't seem to understand how much this means to me. I don't think they could, so I don't really blame them...

I just want to take a shower, and clean my room, do all my chores, and read. I want to read all day long. I want to get lost in my books and never find my way again. Maybe if I can just rock myself to sleep in cool cotton sheets and freshly-washed pillows and words and sentences in books about true crime or Holden Caufield or The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, I can sleep more peacefully than I've ever slept before. I can sleep so deeply, I don't have to wake up to my RLO nightmare. Maybe.

I hung out with Anna yesterday, we would have hung out today or tomorrow, but she's going home to go to Kennan's memorial service, which is tomorrow. Last night, she showed me her appartment (which is very nice... possible option after the dorms?) She showed me Volunteer Park and the Arboratum... I can't believe that I've been here for a year and not gotten in touch with her until the other night. I can't belive that I hadn't seen those parts of Seattle before.

I really need my car. And my room. And more slim-fast.

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