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Listening to: From the Choirgirl Hotel. Not for long, though... it's not really matching my mood quite like I was expecting it too.
Currently Reading: Just barely started Jonathan Lethem's Gun, With Occasional Music. Kind of saving it for the train, as well as a stack of others (both fiction and non). Also, I recently read Laurie Notaro's I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl (again) in like two days, and peed myself laughing. Highly recommended. I also devoured The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel in, like, a mere few days. Laughed until I peed. Also highly recommended.
Wishing: income. Lots of it. Other than that, life's pretty good.
I couldn't be more right now.
Buy "Civilised Conversation..." Merchandise! Please? All the cool kids are doing it....
Please help me pay for college by purchasing items from Amazon.com through this link!!
29 October 2001 | 11:38 PM
"Viagra In The Waters," By Camille West.
Just outside of Johnson City, on a dark and twisting road,
In a Kenworth 18-wheeler with a heavy shifting load,
He was pushing through to Binghamton, though the hour was getting late,
Pfizer�s finest on a mission to the pharmacies upstate.
He was on a Holy mission, there were men who couldn�t wait.
It was twenty thousand pounds
Of Viagra.
He clocked seven hundred miles since he climbed in to the rig.
Just another twenty-five or so would finish up that gig.
But the trailer hit an oil slick, and down the hill did fly, (oh, my...)
�till it landed at the bottom in the town�s water supply.
It was instant rigor mortis, what a horrid way to die.
Save your sons, shield your daughters!
There�s Viagra in the waters!
All over Johnson City people rising with the dawn,
They drank their morning coffee, took their showers, watered lawns.
And who could have predicted all the changes up ahead?
Men were getting up for work, and heading back to bed.
So many called in sick, you would have thought a virus spread!
Down at the courthouse coffee shop, they stared in disbelief
As a pack of thirsty lawyers started filling out their briefs.
But at the local college, young men appeared much smarter.
No chromosomal mystery, they simply studied harder.
Now water on the rocks is the latest party starter.
Save your sons, shield your daughters!
There�s Viagra in the waters!
(It gets much worse.)
The Johnson City Firemen cursed their wretched luck.
They could not get their fire hoses wound back on the truck.
Sprinkling Holy water at a funeral, Father Ryan said, (oh, you know what he said!)
�I know I�ve saved your souls, but I�ve never raised the dead.
Would a couple strong men help me, now. Close the casket lid.�
(This next verse is so hard to get through...)
Old Man Weisberg took the shower of his life,
Then he marched into the kitchen and he called out to his wife.
She knew something was up as he stood naked at the table,
Holding two cups of coffee and half a dozen bagels.
It had been at least a decade since the last time he was able.
Save your sons, shield your daughters!
There�s Viagra in the waters!
(Can you handle more?)
Believers seeking miracles, the pilgrims came in hordes,
The waters of Viagra grew more popular than Lourdes.
The clergy quoted scripture, but they found it hard to sell,
Those that chose to be anointed were pointed straight to hell.
Despite the dire warnings, the crowds began to swell.
Some hardened politicians came into town one day.
With their permits and their pipelines, pumped the waters all away,
From the heart of Johnson City, rose the mournful cry of men,
But the women knew another truck was comin� through again.
�Don�t worry. There�s a truck next week. We�ll spread the oil again.�
Save your sons, shield your daughters!
There�s Viagra in the waters!
(Sing along, it�s not so hard!!)
Save your sons, shield your daughters!
There�s Viagra in the waters!
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Oh, Whoops. - 10:34 PM , 02 September 2005 In Like Hula-Hoops. - 11:28 PM , 12 April 2005 A - Z - 4:37 AM , 26 March 2005 w00t - 12:15 AM , 25 March 2005 Just Let Her Go. - 12:12 AM , 20 March 2005
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