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Listening to: From the Choirgirl Hotel. Not for long, though... it's not really matching my mood quite like I was expecting it too.

Currently Reading: Just barely started Jonathan Lethem's Gun, With Occasional Music. Kind of saving it for the train, as well as a stack of others (both fiction and non). Also, I recently read Laurie Notaro's I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl (again) in like two days, and peed myself laughing. Highly recommended. I also devoured The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel in, like, a mere few days. Laughed until I peed. Also highly recommended.

Wishing: income. Lots of it. Other than that, life's pretty good.

I couldn't be more The current mood of ronkc@diaryland.com at www.imood.com right now.

Buy "Civilised Conversation..." Merchandise! Please? All the cool kids are doing it....

Please help me pay for college by purchasing items from Amazon.com through this link!!

Do you love me?

24 November 2001 | 12:06 AM

Grandmother

Okay.

Do I need to stop eating? Yes. When? A year ago. I have gained so much weight since I've come here. I can't believe it. I'm really disappointed in myself. When I go back to my internist for my follow-up appointment, where we bitch each other out about my diet, about my weight, I'm going to ask him about bariatric surgery or a gastric bypass or something. My BMI is roughly 37 and a half. At the rate I'm gaining, I'll be morbidly obese (as opposed to just plain "bigfat") in two or three months. I'll need to purchase an electric wheelchair to get to class each day.

On a much more encouraging note, one of the only things I actually got done today was calling my Grandmother to ask for money. She has agreed to help me with my doctor's copays, my prescription copays, my retreat fees, and other little things. She also is giving me money to pay off all my credit card bills. Which amazes me. She took the totals exceptionally well, I think. I told her that the balances were acrued over the past year, roughly, and that her financial help would count as my Christmas present. And then I gave her the balances. She didn't scream, she didn't lecture, she just explained that financial security is contingent upon responsible spending, and that I would have to cut back, which I understand and agree with completely. She feels, however, that it is her duty as a grandmother to help me out, to support me in every way she can. And that she would do it by Monday. God Bless that woman.

I wrote her a thank-you note, even though I thanked her profusely over the phone. A tremendous weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I almost want to laugh, to cry in gratitude. I think I'll be sleeping infinitely better tonight.

Now if I could just force myself to do everything else on my list.

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