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Listening to: From the Choirgirl Hotel. Not for long, though... it's not really matching my mood quite like I was expecting it too.

Currently Reading: Just barely started Jonathan Lethem's Gun, With Occasional Music. Kind of saving it for the train, as well as a stack of others (both fiction and non). Also, I recently read Laurie Notaro's I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl (again) in like two days, and peed myself laughing. Highly recommended. I also devoured The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel in, like, a mere few days. Laughed until I peed. Also highly recommended.

Wishing: income. Lots of it. Other than that, life's pretty good.

I couldn't be more The current mood of ronkc@diaryland.com at www.imood.com right now.

Buy "Civilised Conversation..." Merchandise! Please? All the cool kids are doing it....

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Do you love me?

02 January 2002 | 9:56 PM

Rejected

Okay.

I'm sure I've mentioned how sometimes I get all broody and reflective, especially when I take a good, long walk. While walking today, I had this idea. What if, when you're walking, you're not moving across the ground, but you're moving the Earth with your feet?! Like one of those treadmills, you know? I thought it was a brilliant idea. Crazy, perhaps, but that's what they said about Copernicus, right? Then I saw someone walking in the other direction. I felt stupid. Neanderthal stupid.

I had some textbooks that the bookstore here wouldn't take back, so I walked down to Twice Sold Tales, since today was their buying day.

I waited patiently in line. After a dealer, no less. Finally, it was my turn. I took out my obscure, difficult to find books. Some of them were out of print. So then the guy picks up two (of maybe eight), and says he'll be right back. I wait more, patiently. He comes back and says he can't buy any of them because they have multiple copies of all of them. As if they don't have multiple copies of multiple other books. Bullshit.

On my way out, I felt so cheap and rejected that I started to cry. Right there on Nagle Place.

Then I went to Revolution Books. It's this Communist bookstore. It's in kind of a shady backalley, and after going in, you have to go down some stairs to get to the actual shop. Being clumbsy, this was a bit challenging, especially with a Seattle-sized brolly, and a huge bag of used books, but I got down there. I didn't know that it was specifically Communist, I thought maybe it was just really lefty-loosey, you know? But all of the books were about Communism, and the predominant color of the room is red. I asked if they bought used books. The woman said, "Rarely. What are they about?" I explained to her what I had in my magic bag of reject literature. She started to look at a couple of things, but was not able to buy anything from me. I did, however, buy a copy of some Communist revolution newspaper, which cost a dollar, but she didn't want to break my twenty, so she took most of my pocket change, which ammounted to about eighty cents.

And then I cried a little more on the way back.

I should bring this up with Dr. Psychiatrist, but he's out of town for a couple of weeks, which if probably fabulous for him. Poor guy. He deserves a break really.

Back to life.

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