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Listening to: From the Choirgirl Hotel. Not for long, though... it's not really matching my mood quite like I was expecting it too.

Currently Reading: Just barely started Jonathan Lethem's Gun, With Occasional Music. Kind of saving it for the train, as well as a stack of others (both fiction and non). Also, I recently read Laurie Notaro's I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl (again) in like two days, and peed myself laughing. Highly recommended. I also devoured The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel in, like, a mere few days. Laughed until I peed. Also highly recommended.

Wishing: income. Lots of it. Other than that, life's pretty good.

I couldn't be more The current mood of ronkc@diaryland.com at www.imood.com right now.

Buy "Civilised Conversation..." Merchandise! Please? All the cool kids are doing it....

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Do you love me?

09 July 2002 | 12:41 AM

I Got Your Cookies

Okay.

I am inspired to write this evening from a piece of (fan?) mail I received just this morning. �Go-Tang� writes, �I check your website every day at work (fuck NetZero, and fuck my cheap parents for not getting DSL)�. Get you some cookies my ass. I got your cookies right here.� Thank you, Go-Tang.

I know y�all probably don�t even know what that last part is all about, and it probably would take some explaining, but for now, revel in the randomness of the humor, instead of trying to match it up to anything that makes sense in your life right now. She worded it well, too, I think� Got your cookies right here, indeed, Go-Tang. Got your cookies right here, indeed.

Let me just take a brief moment to send a shout-out to very special readers who inspire me to write, despite the fact that I rarely do. Let�s give it up for Go-Tang, Alex, Petrichor, Marita, Candyyce, Jamie, Abigail, and everyone else I forgot because it�s so late at night.

I was thinking about what to write about tonight, and I�m going to jot down some topics so I won�t forget, but just so we�re all on track, please know that the following subjects will not be discussed this evening. The subjects are: Antonio, �Love,� in the context of Social Construction, Getting Married, Why I enjoy being somewhere between Democrat and Communist in a mostly Republican family, why I miss Seattle, why I�ll miss California when I�m back in Seattle, a list of little things that make me smile just because, the Pledge of Allegiance ruling (and why it makes perfect sense to me), and some other stuff. Tonight, however, I will talk about how I am going absolutely batty at home.

Today, my Mother and I must run to town to run a couple of errands. No biggie, right? Yeah. No. So, for lunch, we�re going to enjoy a delightful to-go experience from Burger King. In an attempt to save time, she drops me off at Burger King so I can order and pick up food while she runs an errand. Terrific. I�m getting out of the car, asking her what her noon-time culinary pleasure would be, and after giving me her order, she instructs me not to supersize whatever value meal I will be purchasing this day. This is not the first time I am given this instruction by her. She saw a report on the television one night claiming that supersizing your meal can add on up to 1500 calories, enough calories for a healthy adult for one day, added to a meal. She says, �you�ll thank me one day.�

�Yeah, I really appreciate it,� comes my uncontrollably sarcastic, uncomfortable reply before taking my leave of her.

Your most influential family member commands you to something that hadn�t really crossed you mind until then, leaving you no room for free will, or even expressible dissent, alludes to your physical repugnant appearance, and suggests that you�re incapable of making your own fatty decisions. You feel offended, uncomfortable, stupid, trapped. How can you possibly respond to that? What do you say?

We�re at Burger King for Goddess� sake; what makes it pragmatic to concern myself with 1500 calories, now that I have reached a point in my life where I have completely given up almost all hope on weight loss. Why shouldn�t I die with a delicious french fry hanging out of my mouth while I grasp at my gargantuan soda? Just because she saw it on TV and it COULD be UP TO 1500 calories, I�m going to thank her for putting me in that position? I�m not sure I follow the logic here.

I�ve decided that the next time that happens, rather than allow myself to sarcastically reply, �Yeah, I really appreciate it,� I�ll quietly and spontaneously change my mind against any food at all, asking for a small lemonade if they have it. If not, then a small diet coke. Diet. I�ll indulge in a quiet diet riot.

Where did Go-Tang say she had those cookies again?

Good night, people and gentle-people!

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Oh, Whoops. - 10:34 PM , 02 September 2005

In Like Hula-Hoops. - 11:28 PM , 12 April 2005

A - Z - 4:37 AM , 26 March 2005

w00t - 12:15 AM , 25 March 2005

Just Let Her Go. - 12:12 AM , 20 March 2005

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