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Listening to: From the Choirgirl Hotel. Not for long, though... it's not really matching my mood quite like I was expecting it too.

Currently Reading: Just barely started Jonathan Lethem's Gun, With Occasional Music. Kind of saving it for the train, as well as a stack of others (both fiction and non). Also, I recently read Laurie Notaro's I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl (again) in like two days, and peed myself laughing. Highly recommended. I also devoured The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel in, like, a mere few days. Laughed until I peed. Also highly recommended.

Wishing: income. Lots of it. Other than that, life's pretty good.

I couldn't be more The current mood of ronkc@diaryland.com at www.imood.com right now.

Buy "Civilised Conversation..." Merchandise! Please? All the cool kids are doing it....

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14 March 2004 | 8:02 PM

May God Rest His Mortal Soul

Okay.

First things first: May God rest Grandpa Ronk's mortal soul and the souls of all the other faithful departed.

Funeral is a week from yesterday. Sure am glad I bought that suit. So, probably about this time, I'll either be in some heated drama with family I haven't seen in years, or completely fucked up drunk, or both.

At least they mentioned me in the obit.

It sucks being the black sheep. Sometimes you're like, "Wow. I didn't know that Grandpa was a Freemason," and then you think, "well, I've been out of touch." And then you feel like it's all your fault for not being an active member of the family, really... I mean, emails to your Grandmothers Ronk and Aunt Linda totally count and all, but not having seen these people in several years is another thing all together. So it's just bizarre.

I imagine it's going to be like going to a stranger's funeral, except you have the same last name, you know? Like, you're related, but all you have in common is some heritage and a name. And of course, a few distant memories.

After the news of my Grandpa's death, I've been having these memories of when I was little, and I would actually visit with my Pop, about how sometimes we would drive down to Aunt Linda and Uncle Mike's, or to Grammy's or to Grandpa and Grandma Norma's. Or that one houseboating trip....

It's just really really weird... I have all of these memories, but they're all so faint, and all so far away. It's like I know I have photographs of all of this somewhere, but I just don't know where I've hidden them. And I want to look at them, and I can't find them. Hell, I don't know if I even have them at all.

I'm so ready for this quarter to be over.

Finals are tomorrow. Two finals, a rehearsal, a paper and a prayer service and I'll be through.

I hope I don't fail my classes this quarter-- that would suck.

Okay. I'm going to go pretend to study for a little while. I just needed to bleugh out about Pop and Grandpa and everything.

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