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Listening to: From the Choirgirl Hotel. Not for long, though... it's not really matching my mood quite like I was expecting it too.

Currently Reading: Just barely started Jonathan Lethem's Gun, With Occasional Music. Kind of saving it for the train, as well as a stack of others (both fiction and non). Also, I recently read Laurie Notaro's I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl (again) in like two days, and peed myself laughing. Highly recommended. I also devoured The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel in, like, a mere few days. Laughed until I peed. Also highly recommended.

Wishing: income. Lots of it. Other than that, life's pretty good.

I couldn't be more The current mood of ronkc@diaryland.com at www.imood.com right now.

Buy "Civilised Conversation..." Merchandise! Please? All the cool kids are doing it....

Please help me pay for college by purchasing items from Amazon.com through this link!!

Do you love me?

08 September 2001 | 9:41 PM

Another Funny Story...

Okay.

So I got a message in my guestbook reminding me that there *were* other high points in my freshman year. Sorry, Jamie, you were right. The fountain incident *wasn't* THE high point of my freshman year. I'll fill in for the rest of you:

So, I was studying in the library with my friend, Jamie. I was explaining how the men's restroom on the 3rd floor of the school library was the anonymous gay sex capital of the planet. She didn't believe me when I explained to her that, yes, people write some of the following things on the stall walls: their phone numbers, their "needs," their (um,) personal statistics and the times they plan to be there in that stall. She didn't believe me at first. So I offered to show her. So we went on a mission.

I went in to make sure that no one was there while Jamie waited outside. All was clear. I motioned to her to come in. We silently walked to the infamous stall. I pointed out the ecrivatures to her. Just then, we hear the door open! AACK!! I put one foot on the toilet seat, while I make sure that the other one is concealed behind the commode, so as to not arouse suspicion, should the other person notice four feet showing under the stall. Jamie was wearing her "hooker boots," though, so it probably wouldn't have made that much difference. Jamie, wearing rings (and a bracelet?) reaches out and closes the stall door, presumably soon enough to escape this person's eye.

So there we are, two friends, surprised like never before, huddled in a tiny stall in the men's bathroom covered with phone numbers, needs, email addresses, statistics and schedules. Okay. Just breathe, right?

No.

We hear the man go over to a urinal. He begins to pee. To POWER-pee, you guys. It sounded like that phenomenon that occurs when you turn a garden hose all the way up, and then you cover part of the end of the hose with your thumb. And it lasted for EVER. The man peed for four and a half hours, it seemed.

All the while, we're trying not to laugh. By some miracle of heaven, we made it without laughing, but it was no easy task. And we laughed until we cried afterword. Hysterical.

That's the story. Perhaps you had to be there, perhaps you find it genuinely funny. Either way, that was one of the many high points of my freshman year at a Catholic College. Others include the choir dress rehearsal I did with Jamie and Natalie- We were distracting people with feminine hygine products we found in the parish unisex restroom. Juvenille, perhaps, but terribly fun.

Okay. So I just got done responding to a call. I'm not on duty, but the person who is on duty didn't have his pager or something, and the back-up couldn't be reached, so they called me. Nothing major, but long-term solutions will have to be created in the morning. Good thing I have tomorrow off.

I was going to finish packing tonight, but I may do that tomorrow... I have to get up for church tomorrow morning, after all, and sleep sounds good right now.

I think I'm beginning to get a little bitchy... It seems as though some friends have noticed. I'll have to work on that, maybe.

Smile for the day:

Okay. You know my thing with irresponsible consumerism. Today, I picked up a copy of a catalog called, Things You Never Knew Existed... and other items you can't POSSIBLY live without! I almost puked at the "other items you can't possibly live without" part. Because I'm pretty sure I would survive without...

...The Mullet Wig!!

...The Tassle-Twirling Tessie Costume!!

...The "Endangered Feces" Tee!!

...The Bride Dog Costume!!

I don't know, what do you think?

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