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Listening to: From the Choirgirl Hotel. Not for long, though... it's not really matching my mood quite like I was expecting it too.
Currently Reading: Just barely started Jonathan Lethem's Gun, With Occasional Music. Kind of saving it for the train, as well as a stack of others (both fiction and non). Also, I recently read Laurie Notaro's I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl (again) in like two days, and peed myself laughing. Highly recommended. I also devoured The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel in, like, a mere few days. Laughed until I peed. Also highly recommended.
Wishing: income. Lots of it. Other than that, life's pretty good.
I couldn't be more right now.
Buy "Civilised Conversation..." Merchandise! Please? All the cool kids are doing it....
Please help me pay for college by purchasing items from Amazon.com through this link!!
12 September 2001 | 10:42 PM
I don't know what to say.
The morning of 11 September 2001, I was sound asleep in my warm, comfortable bed. The phone rang. Half-asleep, I listened to the message Don left on my machine, explaining that planes had crashed into the World Trade Towers and the Pentagon. I clearly didn't get it. I went back to sleep. Later, my Mom called. I listened to her voice on my machinge telling me that I needed to pick up the phone immediately. I did. I explained to her that I heard about the plane crashes. She explained further about the nature of the crashes, that hijacking and terrorism was involved, that we were under attack, the fear, the uncertainty, the imminent end of the world.
I don't think I have ever heard her so frightened. She wanted to make sure I was okay. She didn't want me to end up sent off to war. She didn't want to be alone, but she didn't want to leave the television. She didn't want me to leave my building. She, I just... Poor thing. She said that I should really tune in to the television or radio or whatever, that this was history in the making. Interesting, how she wanted me to be a part of it, and yet, protected unconditionally.
When I got off the phone with her, I figured, this could be the last time I get to enjoy a warm, safe, comfortable bed in a long, long time. So I slept for forty-five minutes, I said a Rosary, I got showered and dressed, and went to the TV room to watch news until I had to work.
I had to move yesterday, too, so my computer has been in transit. I'm sorry for not updating sooner.
The plane that was headed for Camp David flew over David's house near Cleveland, Ohio.
Asami would have been on her way to Japan via New York, but it was less expensive via Halifax, Nova Scotia. I guess she's in Halifax right now.
Kara says she's fine. Unnerved, of course, but fine.
Lisa and Rick may not come to Seattle after all, seeing as how the plan was to fly, and they're a little frightened. Additionally, their daughter, Lauren, was friends with a young woman on the plane headed for Camp David.
Don, and his brother, Brian, are afraid of war. I guess Brian said to Don on the phone yesterday something to the effect of, "They can't take both of us... at least if they take me, you won't have to go."
Jose has heard from some of his family in New York, but there are still a lot of relatives of his who remain unaccounted for.
I just, I don't know what to say. It has definitely been a lot to think about. I want to cry, but the tears don't come. I think about the people on the planes, and in the buildings. How terrifying it must have been for them. I can't imagine sitting in a plane about to crash. I can't imagine calling home on my cell phone telling my family that I love them, to keep an eye out for one another. I can't imagine anticipating the collapse of my building, andticipating certain death, and responding by throwing my body from the top of a 100-story-tall building. I can't imagine running from hospital to hospital searching for missing loved ones. I can't imagine being an emergency employee responding to a dispatch call. I can't imagine being anyone of a different nationality in this country right now. This equals tears, and yet, where are they? The tears, I mean. Where are they?
People want justice. People want revenge. I know. I understand. I think to myself how the answer to death is neither more death, nor more violence. I'm afraid to say this out lound, though. I'm afraid to say something like this in front of, say, Jose, who is ready (almost eager) to enlist in the armed forces. I can see how it doesn't make sense to him, and I can appreciate that. Although, I'm not sure that putting innocent people's lives at stake is the answer. At this point, I don't know what better answer to offer, though, so I stay quiet when they say, "let's hunt them down like the dogs they are, and dispose of them like the trash they are."
And so I worry about this whole war thing. Not only because of the lives of people that I love, of course, but also because of my geeling that violence may not be the answer. I know that there are people out there like me, but I fear that the number is a small one, and I fear that the dissent with what we have to offer outweighs and may overpower us.
I think this may be the first time that I regret not having an American flag on hand. Granted, there have always been things that have bothered me about this country, but right now, those aren't at issue. Support, cohesion, a sense of community- these are things that are needed, I think. I feel as though a priority should be to heal hearts and bodies.
It saddens me to think that it takes something like this to get Americans to reflect deeply. Should it take acts of terrorism to foster evaluations of self, of our lifestyles, of our culture? Should it take a national disaster to get people to donate blood, to donate money to the American Red Cross, to the Mercy Corps? Should it take a national disaster to get so many people to come together as a community, as a society? It seems as though that's what's required, and while it's a beautiful thing that people are lining up for miles to donate blood, it's sad that this is what it takes to provoke that.
Don't get me wrong. It's very, very inspiring how much everyone is doing. It restores a little hope, I think.
I'm going to get ready for bed. I'm going to pray. I'm going to sleep.
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Oh, Whoops. - 10:34 PM , 02 September 2005 In Like Hula-Hoops. - 11:28 PM , 12 April 2005 A - Z - 4:37 AM , 26 March 2005 w00t - 12:15 AM , 25 March 2005 Just Let Her Go. - 12:12 AM , 20 March 2005
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