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Listening to: From the Choirgirl Hotel. Not for long, though... it's not really matching my mood quite like I was expecting it too.

Currently Reading: Just barely started Jonathan Lethem's Gun, With Occasional Music. Kind of saving it for the train, as well as a stack of others (both fiction and non). Also, I recently read Laurie Notaro's I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl (again) in like two days, and peed myself laughing. Highly recommended. I also devoured The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel in, like, a mere few days. Laughed until I peed. Also highly recommended.

Wishing: income. Lots of it. Other than that, life's pretty good.

I couldn't be more The current mood of ronkc@diaryland.com at www.imood.com right now.

Buy "Civilised Conversation..." Merchandise! Please? All the cool kids are doing it....

Please help me pay for college by purchasing items from Amazon.com through this link!!

Do you love me?

26 April 2002 | 8:00 PM

Poetic Moment Toward The End Of This One...

Okay.

I realise it's been a while, again, but here we go.

I am feeling unattractive. For several reasons. Some of which I will share.

First, I spent this afternoon watching Drop Dead Gorgeous with Hilari. It's a hysterical movie, and I admire Kirsten Dunst and Allison Janney. Anyway, I feel as though I would like to participate in some sort of pageant that wouldn't involve bodybuilding or nudity, because while I'm fully aware that the Mr. America competition and Mr. Nude Seattle are both viable options, I am in no position to achieve the look required to enter these pageants before I reach an age which would disqualify me from the running. And I would have to drop out of school to work on this goal. Therefore, it is not achievable. I don't suppose there's some sort of Academic pageant. If I had to write a research paper, rather than appear in a swimsuit or something, along with the traditional talent segment, et cetera, I think I might be able to make at least Top 10 in the reigon, in my age group. Note to self: design an accademic pageant.

Then again, I suppose that's the point of university. Do your best academically, and you'll get to strut on a stage (graduation) and all, but instead of a tiara, you get a cap and gown. Nevermind.

Anyway, I'm not Kirsten Dunst. And therefore I am not attractive.

Later this evening, over a high-in-startch dinner, Julia and I were discussing pious celebacy (spelling?) and she mentioned that "man wasn't meant to be alone. I mean, look at you."

Yes, look at me.

While I was fully aware that she meant it in jest (and, hey, it was funny!) There was a grain of truth in that plaisanterie.

As I haven't heard from "the fellow" in two weeks, I wrote a stern email. It goes like this:

I've been thinking about you, and wondering how you are. I haven't heard from you in about two weeks. I guess I'm wondering if everything is cool.

When you said that coffee was coffee, I assumed that meant that it was more than a friendsy thing, but less than a going-outy thing. But you know what they say about assuming things... so I don't know.

I'll be candid: I feel like this could be going in many different directions, or in no direction at all, but I feel like I have no idea what direction (or lack thereof) that might be. I think I would feel more confident in what's going on if we communicated clearly and regularly. I've given this a lot of thought, and if we're going to communicate, but you're not interested in email, I'm open to non-email modes of communication. Phone calls, letters and the like are acceptable in my book. Email me for numbers and address.

If you don't want to talk to me, that's fine, too. If I don't hear back from you, I'll assume that that's the case, and I'll leave you alone.

I hope to hear from you soon,
yours,
Chris

So, now we wait by the computer and pray. I'm in the middle of a novena to Our Lady of the Rosary of Fatima, asking for greater understanding of the relationship. I know it's totally lame, but I just feel like I'm supposed to be drawing map of an ocean I've never sailed, and the sky is perpetually dark. I can't see anything, and I can't chart a course. Yeah.

Anyway.

I'm going to have to wrap this up because the computer lab is closing soon, but I also wanted to toss in that, in my quest to broaden my horizons and explore American culture and society, I've decided that on Sunday, I'm going to attend a non-Catholic church service. I've spotted this little place on 11th Ave called German United Chuch of Christ or something like that, and all of the services are in German. I think that would be terribly exciting and new and fun. Plus the little church is just so quaint and adorable. There's also a Lutheran place just a few blocks away from that, so I may have to check that one out, too... Anyway.

That's my story, ladies and gentlemen!

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I've updated?

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