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Listening to: From the Choirgirl Hotel. Not for long, though... it's not really matching my mood quite like I was expecting it too.

Currently Reading: Just barely started Jonathan Lethem's Gun, With Occasional Music. Kind of saving it for the train, as well as a stack of others (both fiction and non). Also, I recently read Laurie Notaro's I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl (again) in like two days, and peed myself laughing. Highly recommended. I also devoured The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel in, like, a mere few days. Laughed until I peed. Also highly recommended.

Wishing: income. Lots of it. Other than that, life's pretty good.

I couldn't be more The current mood of ronkc@diaryland.com at www.imood.com right now.

Buy "Civilised Conversation..." Merchandise! Please? All the cool kids are doing it....

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Do you love me?

26 November 2001 | 10:38 PM

Dry Skin

Okay.

I'm in ethics right now. WE've been here for a little over a half-hour, and our professor has already used the phrase, "at the end of the day." Twice.

I am so exhausted. I've had 7 hours of sleep in the past 48. 72 consecutive hours without adequate rest leads to an increased probability of developing a psychosis of some sort. That could be exciting. I could go screaming down Broadway, and people would give me spare change.

I have to write to stay awake. Terrible, I know, but I think it's significant.

It's the perfect temperature in here.

I have dry skin. Sigh.

I'm so tired that my handwriting is crap, and when I look through my glasses (or maybe, you know, my eyes), everything looks all soft-focused, as though today were the day that I live my life as an actor in a douche commercial.

But I'm feeling pretty fresh, so I don't know.

I'm actually wearing a fragrance today. I wore one yesterday, too. I also took a liking to Very Sexy for him by Victoria's Secret. Yes, Vicki C. is making men's fragrance now.

Yesterday, after Mass, I cashed in my change and filled my prescription. The pharmacist brought up that I could experience some side-effects, and that I must not get pregnent. I looked at her for a moment, and then I looked down at my body, and then I looked back at her, and said, "Boy." She was like, "yeah, but they make a really big deal about it. Some physicians requre female patients to go on the depo shot before getting this prescription. So there's another reason for you to be glad you're not a girl." Every woman in the drugstore started nodding in agreement with her, at me. I was with Katherine. I look over at her and said, "But you guys get all the cute clothes. There's nothing for me in this world. Nothing."

After Katherine went home, I went walking down Boradway, and I ended up seeing Tape at the Broadway Exit Cinema. This cinema used to be a really old, really pretty house. It's still really cool, only it's a theatre. It's cool. Anyway, the film takes place in a shady little motel room. This makes me fear the future, for some reason. I don't wnat to end up a shady person. Then I become self-conscious about my need for secure, sheltered social actvity. I worry about my compulsive spending and eating habits. I look at the people on the street asking for change. I worry that I could end up there one day, on the street asking for spare change, or in a shady hotel room doing lines of coke. These thoughts terrify me.

After the film, partly because of which I became terrified of my own existence, I actually pulled out my cell and called my Mom to babble things out. She wants to buy me things, for Christmas. This is cool, but i hope she doesn't expect me to come home. It was somewhat helpful to have spilled things out to her. The call lasted 30 minutes, and used half my cell phone battery.

I ran to the bookstore this morning. I had purchased some calbe-tamers about 3 weeks ago. Expensive ones. I had never ended up using them, so I took them back and got the balance credited to my checking accout, which should take off a little more financial pressure. While I'm glad I won't feel as stressed, I'm a little disappointed in myself for hunting down things to return to stores in order to get a little money.

I ran into a woman with whom I had worked this Summer, and asked f her office was hiring work-study students. Was I going to stay over Winter break? I think so... OH, well, there will be zillions of jobs. I have to stop by her office this afternoon. I really work well with her, I really look forward to that.

For some reason, my place seems a little less cluttered recently. I should try to keep up this trend until things look really good. 'Cause, damn.

Things don't seem quite so bleak right now, but I guess I'll have to see how things go.

I have dry skin. And a blemish on my forehead, and a hundred thousand extra pounds. I need to call doctors, and do chores.

I went to Candy's RCIA class last night. It went really well, I think. I'm inspired to get a Pyx, and then go to daily Mass and then do a pastoral care/Eucharistic Ministry thing at the nursing home, or at the hospital. I think I would really enjoy that. I shared this with Candy, and she said that once she was confirmed, we would do this together.

Okay class is almost over.

Thank Heavens. Gosh.

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�2001 Design by CC | Words by ronkc