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Listening to: From the Choirgirl Hotel. Not for long, though... it's not really matching my mood quite like I was expecting it too.

Currently Reading: Just barely started Jonathan Lethem's Gun, With Occasional Music. Kind of saving it for the train, as well as a stack of others (both fiction and non). Also, I recently read Laurie Notaro's I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl (again) in like two days, and peed myself laughing. Highly recommended. I also devoured The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel in, like, a mere few days. Laughed until I peed. Also highly recommended.

Wishing: income. Lots of it. Other than that, life's pretty good.

I couldn't be more The current mood of ronkc@diaryland.com at www.imood.com right now.

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17 August 2002 | 12:39 AM

Thank Goddess For Diaryland

Okay.

So, needless to say, I�m back from my vacationette from South Dakota, the happiest place on Earth, Disney be damned. I�m back at home, which will take quite a bit of readjusting. I can see that I�m nowhere near re-acclimated to the dusty air, for sure, as my new best friend has become a box of �facial tissues,� (read snot rags). Also, I miss Jamie and all of her friends and family (all of SoDak, really). I really had a great time, and would not trade any part of that week for the world. Even if I did get the West Nile virus or whatever, I had a really great time staying in South Dakota, and here I am in California, all refreshed and rested. Now for real life again.

Yesterday, I was driving past this lettuce field, and I saw this dog, and as I got closer, I came to the realisation that this dog was taking a big shit on a head of lettuce. I�m not going to eat another salad for quite some time.

There�s quite a bit to do here. For instance, I have to sort through my things and decide what stays here and what comes back with me to Seattle in the fall. I need to follow up with the insurance company and figure out what�s going on regarding approval for my surgery (which, in my fantasy-land, already took place six weeks ago. No such luck, obviously, dear reader, but thank you all for your kind thoughts and words.) I have to get together with everyone on my list of people with whom to get together� the family attorney/family friend, the old friends from the old office, Handicap Parking Place Lisa (we�re going to see �Grease� on Sunday, I can hardly wait!!), Grandma wants to go spend time antiquing, though I would settle for some good second-hand-storing, Mom, of course, wants to spend some time doing quality things (she even wants to go play bingo on Monday! Can�t wait!!), Carly, one of the only normal people from high school who still lives here, need to get together with her. And of course, the fellow.

I miss the fellow very, very much, and I really want to call the fellow. I will call the fellow. In time. I just have to time the calling of the fellow. I need to make sure that going out with the fellow does not interfere with maternal inquisition, as many so-called �questionable� things do. So, the plan is to find out when the parents are taking a weekend to themselves, and then asking the fellow to set aside that weekend for recreation and merriment. The back-up plan, of course, is to use the guise of a bingo game (doors open at 3:00 PM, showtime games usually end around 10:00 PM), giving me a good seven hours to spend as I will with the fellow. What�s important here, of course, is that the mother needs to not want to come with me for bingo. Maybe we�ll wait to see how she enjoys Monday�s bingo game. If she detests it, then we�ll keep the bingo game guise in the back pocket. If the parental weekend vacationette never takes place, then we�ll resort to that. Feedback? Sign the guestbook, my lovelies. Okey-dokey.

So, I�ve been thinking an awful lot about the room I�ll be moving back into in late September. I�m thinking about what I�m going to do with furniture. What I�m going to do with lighting, arrangements of things� Where I�m going to shop for old bath towels to use as dust covers, whether I�m going to try to find some bargain bin fabric and make some curtains to cover the hideous blinds, whether I�m going to try to use the same fabric to make a matching tablecloth for a university-issued desk that I�ll use as a dining room/craft/coffee/anything else table, whether I�ll look for a proper computer workstation at IKEA, or if I�ll just settle for something at Value Village, whether I�ll hang things on the walls for decoration or just leave them blank� things like this. My life goal is to be able to live a relatively Spartan lifestyle: instead of spending extravagant amounts of money and energy on decorating a one-year dorm room, save it, donate that money/energy to a charity or something. Why do I need matching curtains, tablecloths, dustcovers and stuff when other people can�t find a decent dinner for their families? Instead, why don�t I just buy some old bath towels for dustcovers, and old tablecloth, some old curtains (if I really need them, which I don�t, considering I�ve gone without them for two years, two more won�t kill me)? I like the idea of not being reliant on the need for aesthetic pleasure. I like the idea of not having to care, of feeling good about buying everything second-hand instead of blowing all your money on crap. I�d like to pay off all my credit cards. I�d like to live my life freely. I don�t want to think, �well, I HAVE to have curtains,� or �I HAVE to have a marblesque paper towel holder.� I don�t really HAVE to have these things� Sure, life is easier with them, but my bank account would rather I do without them, right? And I figure that if I can find them at a thrift-store at a low, low price, and they make my life really easy, then sure, I�ll give it a go. But in the end, I don�t want to live a life where I�m weighed down by crap, or a life with the false sense that I need things to get by, or a life with a big leak in the bottom of my checkbook. I�d like to live useless-crap-free, I�d like to live content having the things I need, and I�d like to live comfortably, but not too much so, financially. I want to provide for others somehow, as well, however that may be.

So then I think about all of these things when I think about what I want my place to look like in the fall, and it just completely blows my mind. Isn�t it funny how we create our own ethics, and then we want to kind of do our own thing and then we have to make sure that what we want to do is in line with our new-set standards? Self imposed rules kind of suck, but I�m glad I�ve typed out what I want out of life, because at least now, I can come back here and read this whenever I want to rethink what I should do with the room. Should I rearrange the furniture? Sure, that�s fine. Should I buy coordinating everything at Bed, Bath and Beyond? NO! THAT IS POSITIVELY NOT KOSHER!! You see? These little rants can help one out from time to time. If it weren�t for this diary entry, I wouldn�t know, off the top of my head, what kinds of interior design my conscious could or could not accept. Thank Goddess for such things.

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